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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
SO, WHO'S REALLY IN CHARGE?
For a moment, I'm going to assume that you read books for the same reason I write books. To escape. House payments, the guy who flipped you off in traffic, the constant demand from your kids for designer everything. The list is never-ending. Just recently I've started to realize that my need to escape stems from this nagging fear in the back of my mind that the little person in my house is smarter than me. I simply don’t want to deal with the possibility.
When did this happen? I ask myself. Two years old? Two and a half? Halfway through potty training? When she learned where bacon really comes from? Well, regardless of when it happened, it's here and I'm thinking it’s only going to get worse.
For example, last night I was sitting on my daughter's bed, listening to the rain tap gently on the roof and windows while I read to her. Just so you know, we read four books EVERY night. It's a routine.
And God help you if you don't have a routine.
Well, after the fourth book, I told her it was time for lights out. Again, all routine. Normally, she snuggles under her covers and drifts off in about 15 minutes.
Not last night.
In her adorable sing-song voice, Isa says, "Mommy, you only read three books."
Now this, as every mother knows, is what is called a stall tactic. 'Keep the mommy talking, even if it's an argument.' 'Maybe my wee little throat will get so parched from all the arguing I can scam some milk out of her.' 'Then I can brush my teeth again and rile up the dogs'...and it goes on and on.
Well, last night - maybe because I so badly wanted to watch EVERWOOD with a volcano-hot heating pad behind my back - I wasn't having it.
"Honey," I say, "we read four books. Here I'll show you them again."
I'm figuring that words are probably not enough to end this discussion. I'm 36, I'm smart. I've had a lot of life lessons. I figure that evidence is the key here. So, I proceed to lay all four books out on her MY LITTLE PONY bedspread. One, two, three, four - I count to myself – just to be sure. Yep. All present and accounted for. I smile, knowing there is nothing my sweet, little cherub can say to this.
"No, Mommy," she says again, in the low, slow voice I normally use when I'm trying to get rid of telemarketers at supper time. "That is three."
Okay, God - grant me a little patience here....
"Let's count them, honey," I say a little too high. Sticking out my index finger and pointing to the first one, I begin, "One, two, three, f--"
"No, Mommy." Isa shakes her head like a disappointed twenty-year-old, then jabs her thumb down atop the fourth book, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN. "This is not a book. This is a song."
I pause for a moment, hoping something smart will come to me. Like, 'sure it's a song, but it's between two flaps of paper.' But then, so is sheet music..ugh! I sit there, my enormous tush causing the mattress to sag. I'm caught somewhere between my daughter frustrating the heck out of me and my belief that she is already bordering on genius.
A perpetual state, me thinks.
And for the record, I read her another book.
posted by Laura Wright at 8:54 AM
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4 Comments:
Playground Monitor said...
Been there. Done that. And please excuse me for chuckling at Isa's antics.
Just think -- soon you'll have it in stereo. *g*
But in the end, it's all worth it when they give you a jelly-bread kiss and a big hug and tell you how much they love you. Then, you'd read to them forever.
Marilyn
11:06 AM
Estella said...
Kids are wonderful, aren't they? My kids are raised and I have grandkids that pull the same things my kids did.
1:25 PM
Latesha said...
LOL Laura. Isa is too smart for words. You see what preschool has taught her? To be a wise apple. You're going to have to work harder to outsmart her. Hope that yor back is feeling better today.
7:03 PM
Charlene Sands said...
Oh Boy, Laura!
You're little one sounds like a gem and I know she's a cutie - I've seen her!
God grant you patience. You're a gem too. And how about a 2 hour labor, while we're asking?
Charlene Sands
11:35 PM
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